Life's Broken Pieces
by babygurl100
Summary: A new girl moves in with the gang. She really likes Soda, but when she sees him sleeping with another girl, she throws herself to a first guy she spots. When she realizes her mistake, it's too late to turn back.... Please R&R! New chapters coming up soon!
1. The kiss

Disclaimer: I don't own anybody except the people u don't recognize, S.E.Hinton does. So read and enjoy. Also I want to say thanks to CiCi for helping me with the ideas for the first 3 chapters, thanks :)  
  
Trish's POV  
  
When I woke up I had a terrible headache. I don't know why but I have been getting them every once in a while, since I was 14.  
  
The whole headache thing, then...I think the reason why, I've been getting these headaches is because of what my father did to me... Since my mom died in a car accident, my dad started coming home drunk and late every night. He got mad at me for nothing and beat me up. One night, he beat me so bad that I had bruises everywhere. I was bleeding severely. He carried me to the closest park and dropped me. I think he hoped that I would die there. Unfortunately I was meant to live, because Sodapop Curtis found me and brought me back to their house...... Now I'm 16 and I've lived there ever since.   
  
Since then, Soda and me have been best friends, we always shared our feelings with each other, no one could understand me like he did.  
  
Two months after my fathers beating I started feeling different around him. Every time he got in a fight with someone, I was scared, scared that I might loose him. I was so worried about him because one time, around midnight, when he was walking home from the park; don't know why he was there in the first place. A blue mustang pulled up and four Socs got out. One of them pulled out a switchblade and put it to his throat. All four of them were drunk out of their minds and said that first they're going to cut him up until he pleaded for them to kill him. But since it was Soda, he never pleaded. He was taking all of it until he lost enough blood to pass out.  
  
When the gang found him, Soda was in a coma. They got him right to the hospital, but he stayed like that for three days, the doctor thought that he would die, but Soda lived.  
  
I went to the bathroom, brushed my hair, and put some makeup on, just a bit though, I don't like a lot of makeup. I think that makes girls look like whores, but anyway it's just what I think, so that doesn't count for other people.  
  
When I came to the living room, there was Soda as always sitting in front of the TV eating breakfast before going off to work.  
  
"Hey, sleepy head," he said while getting up and giving me a hug before leaving. Giving me a hug was normal. It was a friendly hug, well I think it was. I liked having a hug, but I think its the fact that it was from him is why I liked it so much.  
  
I got myself something to eat and soon after that, went out for a walk.  
  
Nothing much happened that day.. I was just bored out of my mind so I decided to go visit Soda at work.  
  
Soda seemed really happy to see me and asked me to wait until he finished so we can go and get ice cream or something. I loved spending time with him. He is so funny, cute, and sweet.  
  
When he finished, we started walking to DQ's and talking. He told me about his workday. And all the sluts, well he didn't exactly say that, it's just what I think of those girls who cant keep their hands off him.  
  
I think I was jealous because of them. Oh my god, I think I am falling for my best friend!............I was really confused. When we were walking back, he took my hand and turned me around to face him. He brushed my cheek with his amazing hand and looked deeply into my eyes. Before I knew it, he kissed me, in a deep passionate kiss; to my surprise I kissed him back...  
  
(Well what do you think about this so far? If you liked it please review. And yes, this is my first story, so if you have any ideas I would like to hear them. Sorry if the first chapter isn't as good as you expected it to be, but ill try to make the next one better.) 


	2. I couldn't believe my eyes!

Our kiss was so perfect. But it lasted only for about 1 minute, maybe not even, because then Soda pulled away from me, and I couldn't believe my eyes, he just turned around and started to walk away without saying a single word.  
  
I don't know anything anymore I mean the kiss, did it mean something? Yes I think it did, because you don't just go off kissing people unless u like them, right? I don't know... But I really want to find out the answers to this and all of my other questions about Soda. God I am so confused.  
  
I went off to the park. I couldn't just go to the Curtis's after what had happened between me and Soda, knowing that he might be there.  
  
The kiss... it made me realize something, it made me realize that I wanted to be with him, more than anything.  
  
I decided to wait and see what will happen next. But a week passed by, and nothing did.  
  
This was different now though because I couldn't stop thinking about him throughout the day, and couldn't sleep at night because I had dreams about him. I wanted him so bad, wanted to know that he is only mine; I wanted to wake up every morning seeing him sleeping soundly beside me. Most of all I wanted that kiss, the kiss that now changed my life forever.  
  
The next day when the morning finally came I decided to tell Soda how I feel, I just couldn't take it anymore, I needed to know if he feels the same about me, if he likes me.  
  
But what if he doesn't and the kiss just meant nothing... Then our friendship will be ruined forever, but I have to tell him how I feel and hope for the best. He's the greatest thing that has ever happened to me and deserves to know how I feel about him.  
  
I came to his room and knocked on the door, he was still asleep I think, I'm not sure, so I decided to open the door myself. When I did open it, I wished that this was only a dream. No, this can't be happening, Soda would never do this to me! Hot tears started streaming down my face, I tried to stop them but I just couldn't.  
  
Soda was on the bed, still asleep but he wasn't alone. There was a girl beside him about 15 years old, I couldn't figure out who she was, because she was turned around so all I could see was her back. But I didn't care anymore, I just closed his door back and stood there shocked with tears streaming down my face for about 2 minutes. Then I ran out of the house.  
  
That horrible day, that moment I wanted to die. I kept running until I couldn't anymore, so I stopped and cried, but this time I didn't try stopping the tears, I wanted to cry, still I couldn't believe what I just saw so I thought maybe if ill cry, all of it will just go away, but once again I was wrong, it didn't. When I finally managed to stop I saw some kind of a bar just down the street and I went there. Usually I don't drink, but this time I did, I just couldn't take it, this was too much for me. How could he just do this to me? I mean first he kisses me and makes me think that a guy like him could actually like me, and then......then he sleeps with another girl, acting like nothing had happened. After I was really drunk I went off to the first guy I saw and started flirting with him.  
  
When I woke up, I found myself on the bed completely naked, with a guy sleeping beside me. I had a headache again but this time I knew that it was from crying and drinking too much.  
  
I couldn't remember much, except for the part that I saw Soda with that girl sleeping on his bed, and ran out. Then I also remember when I couldn't stop crying and went into the bar that I noticed down the street, and then I got drunk.  
  
I couldn't remember what had happened next, but from what it looked like, I had sex with a guy I didn't even know. Oh my god! I lost my virginity to him, something I was cherishing through all of this time for that someone special...someone that never came.... 


	3. I hate myself

I hate myself. Hate everything about me, what have I done, why would I do this, god I have so many questions, and it seems like I'll never have all of the answers.  
  
It was midnight by now, but I just couldn't go back to Curtis's after what had happened, couldn't look at Soda's face. I couldn't stand him anymore, but then no, I will go back there, I need to hear some kind of an explanation for what I saw and the kiss.  
  
When I got to Curtis's no one was home except Soda, he as always was sitting there and watching TV.  
  
"Hey babe, I was looking for you today, where have you been? And why were you crying, What's wrong? You can tell me." With that he took my hand and motioned me to sit down beside him, I did, although I felt tears forming up in my eyes again.  
  
He hugged me and then I started talking. When I asked him about the kiss, if it had meant anything, he blushed, and then there was a long pause. After that he told me that he had liked me for a really long time now, and when we were there, all alone he just couldn't resist anymore so he kissed me. But after that, he was too scared that I might not like him, and that our friendship was lost forever...  
  
Now I started crying, and then I told him what I wanted to say to him today in the morning and what I saw, everything else that happened except the part at that bar.  
  
He looked into my eyes, and now he was smiling, then he kissed me but I didn't kiss him back I just couldn't, not until I know what that girl was doing in his bed.  
  
"The girl was some chick Johnny found in the school lot around 2 in the morning, he felt sorry for her, and brought her here. She was beat up badly and as she told us later some Socs also had raped her. We didn't know where to put her, so I offered my room, and since there was no other place for me to sleep we shared a bed. But baby, I swear, we never did anything, didn't even talk to her untill the morning." Said Soda while holding onto my hand.  
  
Now what have I done. He likes me, how could I be so stupid. But now I just screwed my life up, I was so scared to tell him about the guy and me having sex, and everything, I started crying even harder now.  
  
Then he noticed a small blood stain on my jeans, I don't know how it got there, but well... it id. Now I could see his eyes fill up with tears, he knew what had happened.  
  
"Please say you didn't, god please tell me this isn't happening" that was all that he had said, and then he just sat there, not saying a word. I could feel his hand still around my waist, but it wasn't holding me anymore, it was just there, motionless.  
  
I didn't know what to say or do, so I just sat there with him, hoping that he'd forgive me. About an hour passed before he looked at me again. "Did you really mean it, I mean did u really want to do it with him?", he asked, while a tear was slowly going down his face.  
  
Now I had to tell him the truth that I was too drunk to even remember how it happened... but I knew that if I did, it would crush him even more, so instead I said no, I never meant for it to happen, I was just so sad, mad and confused all at the same time, after it had happened I wished it didn't, please forgive me Sodapop Curtis, please.  
  
There was another pause... "I'm sorry ", he had said at last. I couldn't understand him; I should be the one saying sorry right now.  
  
"Sorry for giving you a reason to do this, I'll understand if you leave right now, I really will, I should've told you how I feel when I kissed you, but I didn't, I know I don't deserve you, I'm so sorry, god you can't believe how much I wish that I could bring that moment back, so I could tell you how I feel, and be with you." he had said.  
  
I was speechless, I didn't know what to say, so instead I kissed him and he kissed me back. After that we just sat there talking in the dark, hugging each other, and once in a while we would kiss.  
  
Then we went to his bedroom and laid there, my head on his chest till we both fell asleep. 


	4. My dreams finally started to come true

Disclaimer: First off thanks to everyone for the reviews. Also if anyone has some ideas of what should happen next in the story, I would love to hear them.  
  
Trish's POV  
  
When I woke up the next morning, seeing Soda sleep soundly beside me, I smiled to myself. He was so handsome; tanned body with just enough muscles to make it perfect, and an awesome face that no one could ever resist. God he could always have any girl he wanted, but he picked me, every time I think about this, it makes me smile, I'm the happiest girl to have someone like Soda by my side.  
  
I moved closer to him and gave him a light kiss on the lips; I just couldn't resist having someone as handsome as Soda beside me!  
  
"Morning Trish, how are you baby?" he said looking deeply into my eyes. Soda has dark brown eyes, which can make you smile even if you were in an awful mood.  
  
"I'm great because I'm with you," I replied.  
  
Suddenly Soda seemed like he was deep down in his thoughts, then his face became really serious.  
  
"I was thinking about all of the things that happened last night before I drifted away to sleep," he said. "And I wanted to ask you something, I know it's personal and all, but I just want to know, so I can be ready if you didn't," then there was a pause...  
  
"Be ready if I didn't what?" I asked  
  
"If you didn't use a condom with that guy yesterday," He looked away from me, but I could see tears fill up his eyes.  
  
"Of course we used one" I lied. I didn't remember anything that happened after I picked up that guy because I was drunk, but I couldn't just make Soda loose his respect for me. To be honest with myself, I was afraid, afraid that he won't stay with me if there is a possibility that I might be pregnant.  
  
Soda was happy once again; I could see it in his eyes. He gave me a couple more kisses before he had to get up and get ready for work.  
  
God I hated it, hated to have to lie to him like that. Also I was happy because I always wanted to spend more time with him, way more than I used to, and finally I could, because now he was mine, and I never wanted to loose him.  
  
After everyone left, I started cleaning the house, because I couldn't think of anything else I could do. When I was finished it was 4 pm, and I missed Soda so much that I decided to come over to his work place.  
  
It took me about 40 minutes to get ready and then I left.  
  
When I got there Soda was working on some car. The reason why I said "some", is that I'm not really good with cars, I mean I like them and all, but I just can't tell whether it's a corvette, mustang or something else.  
  
Soda left everything and ran up to me, picking me up he gave me a passionate kiss.  
  
"I missed you so much, it felt like I haven't seen you in years." He had said after pulling away from me.  
  
I smiled, and told him that the reason why I was here was that I missed him so much too.  
  
I waited one more hour for Soda to get finished, and then after getting some ice cream we headed home.  
  
I thought that everything was going to be ok now, but once again.... I was wrong. 


	5. Robbie

At about 6 o'clock in the morning the doorbell rang. I rushed downstairs as fast as I could because I didn't want it to wake Soda up; he was sleeping so soundly like an angel.  
  
When I opened the door, there was a handsome man about 18 years old standing in front of me. He had baby blue eyes, was about 5'11, with a dark hair shining from the morning sun. I couldn't even get the words out of my mouth; I was just standing there and staring at him with a grin.  
  
"Hi, my name is Robbie and you would be..."  
  
"I'm Trish, are you looking for someone?" I finally managed to get the words out of my mouth.  
  
"Yes... Actually I am. Would you be able to tell me where Sodapop Curtis is?" Robbie said.  
  
Just as I opened my mouth to speak again Soda appeared on the stairs and started running towards the man I was talking to giving him a bear hug.  
  
"Hey man what's up?" I heard him saying.  
  
I was so confused, how did Soda know him? Why didn't he ever talk about him?  
  
Again I had so many questions without answers.  
  
After a while Soda introduced me to the guy. As I found out later Robbie was Soda's long lost friend. And Soda never talked about him before because he thought that Robbie died or something because he hasn't heard from him since they were kids, about 12 years old.  
  
When all three of us were sitting on the couch in our living room eating breakfast I caught myself staring at Robbie again. OMG... I finally got something I wanted for so long, Soda and now I'm falling for his friend. No, this is not happening, maybe it's just that he is cute and all but I don't like him, I mean I don't feel anything for him... or do I?  
  
Later today we were going to go to DQs but first I had to go change. As I left the room I overheard Robbie and Soda's conversation. Robbie is planning on staying in our house for a couple of weeks, now this was really getting serious!  
  
I put on a black tank top, my favorite and a pair of tight blue jeans. Then I put some makeup on and brushed my hair. With that I went downstairs where the guys were waiting for me.  
  
As we walked to the DQs we talked about our lives and Robbie told us that he had a girlfriend 3 month ago, who dumped him because she told him she didn't like him anymore after they've been going out for 3 years and were about to get married. That's why he left LA and came out here to Tulsa, because he couldn't bare seeing her with a different guy everyday.  
  
I was sorry for him, very sorry and as much as I wanted to give him a hug I couldn't, not with Soda walking right beside me. I mean I barely know the guy, and giving him a guy on the first day we met might look suspicious to Soda. And the least of all I want to hurt him right now, after I've hurt him so many times already. 


	6. Life Has To Go On

Disclaimer: First off I want to say thanks for all the reviews. If it doesn't say who's POV it is in the next chapter it is always Trish's; I hope I answered your question Chibi Tatiana. And also if it would make my story easier to read I'm going to write who's POV it is in the beginning of every chapter. I hope to get more reviews from you guys, thanks!  
  
Trish's POV  
  
Two weeks passed now. With Robbie living in our house, everything changed. I haven't been home a lot since then, I'm always trying to spend less time with him as much as I can because the more time we spend together; the more I start to like him.  
  
There is something weird between us though, I keep getting this feeling that I know him from somewhere already but I can't figure out form where.  
  
Today is Monday again. Soda went to work on cars as always, while Robbie went to his new job as a construction worker, all he has to do there is move heavy stuff around which is kind of hard, but well as all of us he needs money.  
  
Today I decided to get myself some kind of a job, which would keep me busy throughout the day. I didn't even know where to start, and the first thing that came to my mind was DQ's.  
  
I put on a clean pair of blue jeans, and a red shirt, which always made me look really pretty. After I brushed my hair and as always put it in a ponytail, I had breakfast.  
  
Going to apply for a job made me really nervous. When I went in there weren't a lot of people, only the workers, which made me a bit more relaxed. I asked for an application and after I filled it in and gave it back, went straight home.  
  
In an hour or so the phone rang and the guy on the phone told me I've got myself a job. I was surprised, happy, and amazed at how easy it was all at once. I couldn't wait to tell the guys. I was so proud of myself.  
  
Before I knew it, the front door opened and Robbie came in really sad, and as I saw the look on his face, I forgot about everything and started asking him what happened.  
  
"Kim... she got killed," he said while sobbing loudly now.  
  
"Who is she Robbie?"  
  
"Who's Kim? Just please calm down and tell me," I said trying to figure out what had happened.  
  
"My girlfriend... The one I told you and Soda about when I just got here, the reason I'm here. She's dead Trish! Dead! Nothing is going to bring her back! I hate myself hate with all my heart! She Got killed, and when she was dying I wasn't even there to hold her one last time, look into her eyes and tell her that no matter what I said I'll always love her!" Robbie was screaming now, crying, and loosing control over himself.  
  
I sat down beside him on the living room sofa and hugged him.  
  
"She didn't love you anymore Robbie, the two of you were over. If you even were there it wouldn't change anything. It was the right choice to come here, because if you stayed you would get hurt even more." I said  
  
We were silent now; I was holding him in my arms while he was still sobbing but quietly now, peacefully like a small child that was still so weak and helpless. Soon he drifted asleep still lying in my arms, and I wished that I wouldn't have to let go of him, but I did, I had to. 


	7. What now?

Disclaimer: Hey guys, I'm really happy that you like this story and left some great reviews! I'll try to update as often as I can! Thanks(  
  
Trish's POV  
  
The next day Soda as always went to work, while Robbie called his boss and told him he's not going to come because he got sick, he lied. I stayed home too; my work didn't start till next week. And despite that I have feelings for Robbie, I couldn't just go off leaving him like this, because I knew that if he stays alone he would hurt himself, or at least try to, because he was so upset I didn't even know what to do to make him feel better.  
  
I got dressed and went downstairs to make something to eat. I made pancakes and went into the living room to watch TV. In about 20 more minutes, Robbie came down looking like a complete wreck. His eyes were puffy and red even more than they were when he had just woken up. He sat beside me and stared blankly at the TV screen, after a while he finally started talking.  
  
"Trish, I have something to tell you," he said.  
  
"Ok, I'm listening"  
  
"Remember the first day I came to your house?"  
  
"Well I came to Tulsa 3 days before that, and t I can't forgive myself something that I did a day before I showed up on your doorsteps."  
  
I was silent I didn't even know what to say or do, I just stared at him motioning to continue, and he understood and went on.  
  
"I came into this bar close to here, and got really drunk, then I went to a room with this girl but I don't remember what she looked like, my vision was all blurry from drinking. I fucked her Trish, had sex with her without loving her, I just did it. And now I think that I have feelings for that girl, she was different than others, special, and it scares me, I don't know what to do anymore. I always used to have answers to all the questions, but now I don't, all I want right now is to die Trish." Robbie said while trying not to look into my eyes.  
  
I was silent, thinking. The girl he had sex with, it was on the same day that I, well, cheated on Soda, if you can call it like that, since me and him weren't going out yet, although loved each other. What if Robbie was the guy I lost my virginity to? What if we didn't use a condom? What then? Should I tell him what happened to me that day? Or should I wait a while? I was so confused.  
  
"Robbie, it's ok, she cheated on you before with all those other guys, if that hadn't happened nothing would've changed, she wouldn't be alive right now, Robbie it's not your fault believe me." I said.  
  
He was looking into my eyes and to my surprise he kissed me. I couldn't believe this was happening. That kiss that I have wanted for a long time now was so passionate, sweet, and gentle I wanted it to last forever.  
  
Little did I know... Suddenly I heard the door open and the footsteps approaching to the living room, where Robbie and me were sharing the greatest kiss in my life. 


	8. I don't believe you!

Disclaimer: Thanks a lot for the reviews guys. I'm trying my best not to hurt Soda but it's real life, which always brings some happy and sad surprises. If I hurt him a lot in my story I'm sorry guys but that's how it is.  
  
Trish's POV  
  
The footsteps were getting closer with every minute. I tried to pull away from Robbie and before I knew it, Soda and another girl were standing beside the sofa looking at us. Soda didn't seem mad about it, so I figured they didn't see anything, as a wave of relief came over me, because I still love Soda, more than anything, but there is something about Robbie that makes me want to spend my life with him.  
  
"Hey Robbie, long time no see" the girl said with tears starting to built up in her eyes.  
  
Robbie didn't say anything, he was just sitting there, staring at her, like he was trying to figure out who she was and how did she know his name.  
  
"So this is the girl you wanted to be with for the past 2 years, this bitch sitting beside you right now while her boyfriend is at work!" The girl was screaming now.  
  
I was starting to get mad now, I never deserved to be called a bitch by someone like her. And what the fuck was going on here!  
  
"Who are you, and what do you want from me?" Robbie said, looking very confused.  
  
"Oh, you don't even remember me anymore! How could you Robbie? I loved you. You leave your kid and me after we are supposed to get married for someone like her! So she's the one now eh! Robbie tell me why? Why did you make up a story that I was dead and made a big crying scene in front of them, just so she would feel sorry for you and fuck you to make you feel better! What the fuck is wrong with you Robbie? You're sick! Sick out of your mind!"  
  
That couldn't be Kim, I don't believe her... It must be some ugly imitation of her just to make Robbie take her death even worse than he is taking it already.  
  
I was so mad right now. I wanted to kill her with all my heart. Robbie didn't deserve this and neither did I deserve to be called a bitch by some slut who tries to ruin everyone's lives.  
  
I couldn't take this anymore. I tried to get up and fight her but someone grabbed my hand and pulled right back onto the sofa. When I turned around, it was Soda. He was standing there, looking at me, while his eyes were questioning why won't I believe her.  
  
Everyone was silent. All I could hear was the loud sobbing of the girl and once in a while some car go roaring by.  
  
"Trish, baby, don't tell me you don't believe her. I should've told you right away when Robbie just got here. The reason why he moved out of Tulsa was that he raped a girl. Not just some girl, but my girlfriend, well my ex girlfriend now, who's name was Kim, the one who's standing in front of you right now. When he just got here, I told myself that he changed; I really wanted to believe that, but look now. Kim is pregnant with a baby, while he left them and came here to take you away from me just like he took away Kim years ago. He is lying Trish, please believe me." Soda said, now his eyes filling up with tears maybe of the hard past or maybe of the thought that he might loose me now, I wasn't sure.  
  
Something inside me told me to believe all of this. But my heart told me its all a lie, and Robbie didn't do anything that he was accused of.  
  
Maybe this ugly imitation of Kim, just came back to break me and Soda up by telling all of this bullshit and knowing that I wont believe it, because I know that even if Robbie did something like that years ago, he has changed.  
  
"Robbie please, tell me the truth, do you know who this girl is, and is everything she said true?" I asked while looking deep into his eyes trying to figure out if he was being honest with me.  
  
"No, I don't know who she is, my girlfriend is dead and nothing can bring her back. I loved her with all my heart and I would never do something like that to her. But yes what Soda told you is partly true. I did take away his girl, but I never raped her, she wanted it just as much as I did"  
  
When I turned around I saw the girl opening her mouth to bitch more at Robbie, but just in time I stopped her.  
  
"I believe you Robbie, and you should too Soda, he is telling the truth and most of all he is your friend too."  
  
"Soda I have one question to ask you, do you remember how she looked like back then?"  
  
"No, I don't but I don't believe Robbie either, Trish you just don't know him as good as I do, please believe me because I can't let him take away you too now. I love you too much" Soda said now starting to tremble as the tears were running down his cheeks.  
  
"I wish I could believe you honey. But I can't, because I know Robbie well enough now, to be sure that he isn't lying, and you should too. Now I want that bitch out of my house, before I call the police!" I started off talking normally while at the end I yelled with all the strength I had. 


	9. What if the kid is Robbie's?

Disclaimer: I'm really happy that you like my story, and once again thanks for the reviews. Keep them coming please, cause that's what encouraging me to write. Now on with the next chapter!  
  
Trish's POV  
  
Days passed. Everything has changed since that girl has appeared on our doorsteps. Soda hasn't been home much and if he did come home he was either drunk and went right back to sleep, or was somewhere deep in his thoughts, he didn't talk to me either, not a single word since then. Sometimes I wanted to scream from all the pain that I felt from not being with him anymore. While other times I just wanted to bring that moment back and just believe Soda, but it was too late now, what has happened, happened and no one could bring it back.  
  
But then again I was happy every time I was with Robbie, since that day, him and me has been very close. We spent practically all day with each other except today. Today was different, Soda as always went to work, but so did Robbie, he went to work for the first time since Kim got killed, he still was taking it really hard. I had a day off, but it was raining outside, and I felt very lonely.  
  
Not minding the rain I went outside into the backyard. It was cloudy and dark. Instead of the blue sky that always made me happy just by looking at it, it was gray, like it was sad because of something. The small raindrops danced on my body like crazy, the morning breeze was so fresh and felt as it never did before. I wanted to cry, finally from everything that had happened. Soda has never done anything bad to me. Never gave me any reason not to believe him, and look what I've done, I destroyed our relationship. I thought I would be happier with Robbie but I'm not, I want Soda back.  
  
Suddenly I felt really bad like I was about to puke and my stomach hurt. I rushed back inside into the washroom and threw up. My stomach hurt badly, I started to cry. Oh no, god I can't be pregnant! What if the kid is Robbie's? Then there's no chance for me to be back with the man I've loved and always will. Why did it take me so long to realize that Soda is the one for me.  
  
Today was the night. When the guys get back from work I'm going to tell Robbie about everything and then I'm going to talk to Soda and at least try to get him back. I was so sure that after this nothing could go wrong again.  
  
Once again in my hard life I was wrong... 


	10. I wish

Disclaimer: Hey guys. Thanks for the reviews. I'm really sorry for not updating in so long, it's just that my pc got messed up and I couldn't go on the internet, then I just didn't have time lol sorry. Well on with the next chapter, enjoy!  
  
Trish's POV  
  
Time passed, my stomach hurt a couple more times until I just stopped caring about it, because I got used to the feeling of being pregnant, I was pretty sure that I was carrying a baby now, the only question was whose... I was still thinking about getting a pregnancy test, until I realized that its been almost two month since the time I went to that bar and made the biggest mistake of my life and I haven't had my period ever since.  
  
I was so deep in my thoughts I never noticed the door open and both Soda and Robbie come in at once. From the looks on their faces I knew that they had finally talked things over between themselves. Both of them came over to the sofa I was sitting on and sat on the opposite sides of me. Soda talked first.  
  
"Trish, today Robbie and me talked things over and came to the conclusion that we both love you more than our lives, and we would die for you if we had to, but we can't share you between ourselves."  
  
"Trish, baby you have to pick one of us, because I can't go on like this anymore and neither can Soda." Robbie broke in.  
  
I just sat there and thought about everything for a while. How could I choose one? I was so sure that Soda is the one, but now... having Robbie sit beside me too, made me wonder if maybe, possibly he is the one for me. I couldn't choose one of them, at least...not yet, not till I know who is the father of my baby.  
  
"Well..." I began, "I have something to tell you too guys that's really important"  
  
"Soda, remember the time that I saw you sleeping with that chick, and I went off and got drunk at that bar and lost my virginity to some guy I didn't know?"  
  
Not even waiting for Soda's answer I continued.  
  
"Well I think I know who that guy was after all... It was Robbie"  
  
Both of them just stared at me, neither of them speaking. I decided to wait a while to continue with more bad news. An hour passed, neither of them spoke up... Soda just sat there even more hurt now, tears sparkling in his gorgeous eyes, his hand trembling in mine. While Robbie was motionless, sitting there, thinking, without a single word. I decided to go on.  
  
"I'm sorry, but there's more bad news. I'm pregnant and there's an eighty percent chance that it's Robbie's."  
  
"But how? Didn't you tell me you used protection? A fucken condom at least?" Soda yelled.  
  
"Soda, listen... honey I'm so sorry, everyday I wish I could bring back that night, wish that I could change everything, but I can't, all I can say is I'm sorry."  
  
"But what about the time when I asked you if you used the damn condom? You told me that you did, was that a lie too?" Soda was all shaking and yelling at me, just by looking at him I could tell that he just reached the breaking point, and wasn't controlling his actions anymore which got me scared, but I went on.  
  
"Yes. I lied, lied to you about the condom, I'm sorry, I didn't know if we did or not because I was too drunk to even remember how I ended up in a room in the first place."  
  
Soda looked at Robbie now. "Robbie, please tell me at least you remember that, please tell me you used a condom, please."  
  
Robbie didn't answer, from that I could tell that he remembered just as much about that night as I did.  
  
All three of us just sat there for the rest of the night, not saying another word, just thinking, as the night passed us by.  
  
That same night I wished I died, died a long time ago, back when my dad beat me so bad that it hurt to breather. I wished Soda have never found me, and never took me home and gave me a second chance in life. Because then I would never waste it like this, I would never ruin the lives of the two guys that are sitting beside me right now, the guys I love more than anything. It was about 4 in the morning when I got up and went out for a walk, because I couldn't bare sitting here, seeing the love of my life hurting like this, I just couldn't.  
  
Little did I know that what I wished for that night, could come true so easy... 


	11. A Suicide

Disclaimer: Sorry for not writing for a long time again, I really am. It's just that a lot of things have been going on in my life that I had to think about and I just couldn't write.

Trish's POV

Leaving the house I wasn't even sure where to go, so I ended up going to the closest park. The air was moist and the moonlight was still shining bright. There were no people around which was good because I finally got a chance to cry without anyone feeling pity for me or trying to use me.

Sitting on the swing I started to think about everything, about how I never got to have a happy childhood because of my father, how it is my fault about everything that happened, I felt tears rolling down my cheeks mixing with the tiny sparkling raindrops.

Then a thought came to my mind... Something I heard people doing before but never tried it myself. Suicide. I could commit a suicide. By that I could kill Robby's kid and myself. I could really put an end to this entire mistake.

I took out a switchblade, no one knew that I carried one around, but I did. Pressing it gently to my wrist I made a small cut. It hurt a lot, but I kept going. I had blood all over my hands, everywhere. Pausing, looking down, I realized that now I was sitting in a puddle of my own blood mixed with the rain. It was the last thing I saw before passing out.


	12. A Nightmare so real

Disclaimer: Ok, I really decided to finish this story now. So yeah I'll try my best. Also thanks for the reviews Anyway on with the next chapter!

Trish's POV

Opening my eyes I realized that I was still alive, the last thing I wanted to be. Everything in the room was white except for the dark red roses that were standing by my side. Still too weak I closed my eyes again and drifted to sleep.

The next thing I knew, Robbie came into the room telling me that there's something really important we should talk about. When I asked for Soda, Robbie didn't say anything just stood there, his eyes teary but gorgeous as always.

"Soda is dead Trish, I'm sorry..."With that, he walked away not saying another word.

I couldn't believe it, not now, god why would he do this, it's my fault again, I wanted to end all of this mistake but I just made it worse, with that I took out all of the needles in my arms that were keeping me alive, it just didn't matter anymore. This time I wasn't going to fail.

Minutes passed, I heard a lot of noises all around me, doctors and nurses were everywhere, and I guess trying to save my life.

I was in a dark tunnel now. I was really scared, didn't know what to do. What is happening? Am I dying? I questioned myself, but the answers followed.

I saw a light at the end of that tunnel, I followed trying to reach it, now realizing that I am dying, that's how some people die, I've read it somewhere before, some kind of a book.

"Trish, baby wake up." I heard Soda's voice now. Was he somewhere in that tunnel too?

"How are you felling? Is everything alright?"

Opening my eyes I realized that the news about Soda, the tunnel, my death, everything was just a nightmare that seemed so real...


	13. The Hospital

Disclaimer: Hey guys! I hope you aren'tvery dissapointed in me for not updating for so long. I got a job, and it's summer and i barelly got any time, i am so sorry for not updating and i hope that i can make it up to you. Just want to say thanks to everyone who revieved my story.

Trish's POV

"Trish, baby...please wake up. We need you here, all of us, both Robbie and me miss you like crazy. You are strong please don't give up."

Soda was there, like always...he was by my side once again, forgiving me, loving me and never giving up on me.

"Hey..." I answered in still weak and trembling voice.

"How are you? Baby, why would you do something like that, how could you even think about leaving our lives? " Robbie whispered, while leaning in and giving me a kiss.

The first thing i could think about was the baby...Is it ok?...

"The baby's fine, you have lost a lot of blood though, if Robbie hadn't found you...you might not have made it. He brought you here right away, you have been in a coma for almost two weeks, the doctors weren't sure if either you or the baby would make it...I was so worried" Soda said almost like he could read my mind.

"We both were." Another voice said...It was Robbie! I was so happy to see him.


	14. Will I ever be happy?

Disclaimer: Here comes another chapter. Hope it's good:)

Trish's POV

Days passed. I have been out of the hospital for a week now...My life has changed a lot...Soda and me..well because of all the times i hurt him, and the fact that it was Robbie's baby, i broke it off with him. I think..that breakin his heart once more was the hardest thing that I had to do in my whole life. I loved him...I still do, but i can't just lead him on, and my baby needs to be with his daddy. ( i found out that it was going to be a boy two days ago) Soda...he took it really hard, but now well he left Tulsa, told us he needed some time alone to think and figure out his life. I miss him, I miss him so much that in times when Robbie isn't home i cry. Everyday when i wake up, i hope that Soda will find enough strength in himself to forgive me...and hopefully move on. On the other hand i am not sure that i will be able to take it, i don't think that i can be strong enough not to cry if i see him with another girl.

I am going to have a family now...Robbie has proposed. We are going to get married in 5 days in a small nearby church. I love him too...i do...Just not as much as Soda, and i know for sure that he will never be able to take Soda's place.

Things change, and so do people...All i know is that i have to move on and at least try to give my baby boy the life and the childhood that i never had...

The doorbell rang...It was way too early for Robbie to be home form work yet...and Soda, he isn't supossed to get home for another week.

Opening the door...i saw a cop. It was hard to even imagine what had happened.

"Hello, i am lookin for Trish...Trish Cameron.."

"Hi...I'm Trish..is...is something wrong?" I answered quietly...

"Your fiance...Robbie..a heavy load fell on him..we rushed him to the hospital, but he did not make it..I am so sorry..." Said the cop while pulling out a piece of paper and handing it over to me.

"Here is a letter that he wrote while he was still concious..."

Without even thinking i took the paper and started reading...it said..

"Dear Trish...I am so sorry for leaving you like this, i promise that i never meant for this to happen...I never meant to leave you and our baby alone. I promise that i will fight until my last breath...but i am more than sure i will not be able to make it...I am so sorry and I just want you to know that no matter what i have always loved you since the first day i saw you..it was hard to take my eyes off you. I have a confession to make...Remember the girl coming over with Sodapop that night, saying that she was Kim and tellin you all the things about me and i said that she was lying...well she wasn't i did hurt her...I hurt her in so many ways..But i have changed. You changed me, and i will always be thankfull to you for that. One more thing, I just want you to know that I will die happy, because I know that I have a woman that had loved me until my last breath, and a baby that will have a happy childhood and one day will grow up to be a man, a better man than me. I have one last wish...Take Sodapop back, he is a nice guy, he has never hurt anyone and never will, I know that with him, both you and my little baby boy will be safe, and i still know that you love him, you always have and neither of you will ever stop loving one another...I am sorry...I wish i had more time to write, but it is gettin really hard to breathe and everything is gettin blurry. I'm sorry...

Love always and forever...

Robbie."

Tears were streaming down my face, I didn't even want to live anymore. I felt quilty for not loving Robbie as much as I love Soda. I wish that I was by his side when he was dying. I wish he woudl still be alive and would hold me tight saying everything will be ok. Loving me, and tellin me how much i mean to him. I miss him already...

...I thought i finally figured out my life...But I didn't...


End file.
